Vegetarian Awareness Month

Sunday, October 4, 2009 – Vegetarian Awareness Month

October 1, 2009, was World Vegetarian Day, which kicked off Vegetarian Awareness Month

A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat anything that can have children. ~ David Brenner

You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I’ll buy you a new car. ~ Harvey Diamond

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. ~ Samuel Butler

Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us… a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird… a social being… capable of actual affection… nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family. ~ Berke Breathed, Bloom County Babylon

How can you eat anything with eyes? ~ Will Kellogg

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner. ~ Lynda Montgomery

Animals are my friends… and I don’t eat my friends. ~ George Bernard Shaw

A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows. ~ George Bernard Shaw

A man of my spiritual intensity does not eat corpses. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Vegetarianism is harmless enough though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness. ~ Robert Hutchison, address to the British Medical Association, 1930

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say, “Yo Goober! Where’s the meat?” I’m trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don’t win friends with salad. ~ Homer Simpson

Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning “lousy hunter.” ~ Andy Rooney

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. ~ Rita Rudner

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician. ~ Marty Feldman

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ~ A. Whitney Brown

I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals, as surely as the savage tribes have left off eating each other…. ~ Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We manage to swallow flesh only because we do not think of the cruel and sinful thing that we do. Cruelty… is a fundamental sin, and admits of no arguments or nice distinctions. If only we do not allow our heart to grow callous, it protests against cruelty, is always clearly heard; and yet we go on perpetrating cruelties easily, merrily, all of us – in fact, anyone who does not join in is dubbed a crank. ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Can you really ask what reason Pythagoras had for abstaining from flesh? For my part I rather wonder both by what accident and in what state of soul or mind the first man did so, touched his mouth to gore and brought his lips to the flesh of a dead creature, he who set forth tables of dead, stale bodies and ventured to call food and nourishment the parts that had a little before bellowed and cried, moved and lived. How could his eyes endure the slaughter when throats were slit and hides flayed and limbs torn from limb? How could his nose endure the stench? How was it that the pollution did not turn away his taste, which made contact with the sores of others and sucked juices and serums from mortal wounds? ~ Plutarch

It is only by softening and disguising dead flesh by culinary preparation that it is rendered susceptible of mastication or digestion, and that the sight of its bloody juices and raw horror does not excite intolerable loathing and disgust. ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley, Queen Mab Notes

Vegetarianism can easily reach religious proportions. Refraining from meat on moral grounds serves to dignify feelings of guilt toward sad-eyed, furry creatures and substitutes righteousness for squeamishness. ~Bill Griffith

Vegetarians have wicked, shifty eyes and laugh in a cold, calculating manner. They pinch little children, steal stamps, drink water, favor beards. ~ J. B. MORTON

Everyone’s a pacifist between wars. It’s like being a vegetarian between meals. ~ Colman McCarthy

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~ Fran Lebowitz

I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep. ~ George Carlin

I’m a Volvo vegeterian. I’ll eat an animal only if it was accidentally killed by an speeding car. ~ Ron Smith

McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it? ~ Jay Leno

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. ~ William S. Gilbert

It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism, while the wolf remains of a different opinion. ~ William Ralph Inge