The Jobs Crisis

Sunday, October 23, 2011 – The Jobs Crisis

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. ~ Aristotle

It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. ~ Muhammad Ali

Take a commonplace, clean it and polish it, light it so that it produces the same effect of youth and freshness and originality and spontaneity as it did originally, and you have done a poet’s job. The rest is literature. ~ Jean Cocteau

It’s not the most intellectual job in the world, but I do have to know the letters. ~ Vanna White

What I’m getting at is, you know, if we really want to get serious about helping all the people living in the street and getting people jobs, we could just hire half the people in the country to spy on the other half. ~ Jello Biafra

Religion enables us to ignore nothingness and get on with the jobs of life. ~ John Updike

The majority of the members of the Irish parliament are professional politicians, in the sense that otherwise they would not be given jobs minding mice at crossroads. ~ Flann O’Brien

If you put down a list of jobs, doctor, lawyer, janitor, teacher or movie star, everybody would pick the movie star. And why? So you could lie around the pool, drink margaritas and send money to your parents. So that’s what I did. ~ Steve Guttenberg

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. ~ David Letterman

If I were a serious person, I’d probably have a real job. ~ Harrison Ford

The number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish. ~ Fred Barling

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. ~ Dave Barry

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don’t have a job. ~ Malcolm S. Forbes

A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward. ~ George Jean Nathan

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. ~ James Matthew Barrie

The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. ~ Arnold Toynbee

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. ~Stanley J. Randall

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. ~ Douglas Adams

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. ~ Ogden Nash

I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. ~ Danny McGoorty

A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time. ~ William C. Feather

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. ~ Robert Frost

More men are killed by overwork than the importance of this world justifies. ~ Rudyard Kipling

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. ~ C. Northcote Parkinson

Today’s Parenting Tip: Treat a difficult child the way you would your boss at work. Praise his achievements, ignore his tantrums and resist the urge to sit him down and explain to him how his brain is not yet fully developed. ~ Robert Brault

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. ~ Bertrand Russell

If you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. ~ Homer Simpson

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas. ~ Paula Poundstone

If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first. ~ Mark Twain

Prolonged, indiscriminate reviewing of books is a quite exceptionally thankless, irritating and exhausting job. It not only involves praising trash but constantly inventing reactions towards books about which one has no spontaneous feeling whatever. ~ George Orwell

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job. ~ Woody Allen

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people. ~ Kinky Friedman

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse. ~ Dennis Miller

On this team, we’re all united in a common goal: to keep my job. ~ Lou Holtz

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? ~ Edgar Bergen

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished. ~ Leslie Nielsen

You’ll be old and you never lived, and you kind of feel silly to lie down and die and to never have lived, to have been a job chaser and never have lived. ~ Gertrude Stein

Dancing is a sweat job. ~ Fred Astaire


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