All Apologies

Sunday, November 17, 2013 – All Apologies

Carry the battle to them. Don’t let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don’t ever apologize for anything. ~ Harry S. Truman

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. ~ Ambrose Bierce

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. ~ P. G. Wodehouse

If the world would apologize, I might consider a reconciliation. ~ Mason Cooley

I can wholeheartedly apologize for not being at all sorry. And it really is the least I can do. ~ April Winchell

I don’t apologize to people with an agenda. ~ Kinky Friedman

I apologize for lying to you. I promise I won’t deceive you except in matters of this sort. ~ Spiro T. Agnew

I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a deserter. What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants. ~ Michael Moore

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. ~ Lois Wyse

I write better in Cape Breton… too many people around in Ontario. Down there I meet all sorts of non-human people, but they don’t bother me, and I don’t feel I have to apologize on behalf of my species quite so often. ~ Farley Mowat

Maturity is the ability to reap without apology and not complain when things don’t go well. ~ Jim Rohn

A stiff apology is a second insult… The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

Apology is only egotism wrong side out. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be. ~ Steve Martin

Our systems, perhaps, are nothing more than an unconscious apology for our faults, a gigantic scaffolding whose object is to hide from us our favorite sin. ~ Henri Frederic Amiel

If God doesn’t destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. ~ Jay Leno

Friends are God’s apology for relations. ~ Hugh Kingsmill

Don’t say you’re sorry, ask me how much it cost. ~ Stuart Connelly

In my dream, people apologized for things that were about to happen, and lit candles by inhaling. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don’t mean it. ~ Jim Bouton, Ball Four

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Chocolate says “I’m sorry” so much better than words. ~ Rachel Vincent

I apologized for punching him. I thought he was attacking me with a karate chop disguised as a handshake. ~ Jarod Kintz

True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Everybody was sorry. Sorry was easy. Sorry was for suckers. ~ Gretchen McNeil, Possess

When I’m lonely I stand in the corner and play my saxophone and feel sorry for myself. I would ask you to accompany me on the piano, but if I did that I wouldn’t be lonely, would I? And what’s the point of a saxophone if not to celebrate despair? ~ Jarod Kintz

If the crow has to be shoved down your throat; maybe you should just let it fly. ~ Colette Ruland Parrino

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm. ~ Dan Heist

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. ~ D. H. Lawrence

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. ~ Henny Youngman

I’m sorry. If if you were right, I’d agree with you. ~ Robin Williams

Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it. ~ Douglas Horton

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’ ~ Demetri Martin

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. ~ Mark Twain

Very sorry can’t come. Lie follows by post. ~ Lord Charles Beresford