Marriage for All

Sunday, May 13, 2012 – Marriage for All

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~ Rita Rudner

Marriage, n. – a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ~ Ambrose Bierce

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~ Anne Taylor Fleming

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~ Doug Larson

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night. ~ Paul Hornung

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~ Katherine Hepburn

It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship. ~ Iris Murdoch

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~ Paul Sweeney

Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ~ Francis Rodman

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it. ~ George MacDonald

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~ Isadora Duncan

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Here’s to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented! ~ Heinrich Heine

I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan. ~ Claire Cloninger

Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ~ O. C. Ogilvie

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ~ Ian Hay

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. ~ Mae West

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. ~ Jackie Gleason

One should never know too precisely whom one has married. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

In the early years, you fight because you don’t understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do. ~ Joan Didion

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. ~ Lord Byron

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. ~ Stephen Leacock

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. ~ Oscar Wilde

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ~ Max Kauffman

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. ~ Samuel Pepys

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too. ~ H. L. Mencken

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. ~ Adela Rogers St. Johns

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ~ Sacha Guitry

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. ~ Peter Devries

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger. ~ George Eliot

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do. ~ Bettina Arndt

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

I’ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out. ~ Lee Grant

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ~ Austin O’Malley

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I’d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. ~ Jerry Hall

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. ~ Grace Hansen

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle. ~ Heinrich Heine

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats. ~ Woody Allen

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ~ Enid Bagnold

It takes patience to appreciate domestic bliss; volatile spirits prefer unhappiness. ~ George Santayana

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. ~ G. K. Chesterton

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. ~ Alan King

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you. ~ Jean Rostand

Such is the common process of marriage. A youth and maiden exchange meeting by chance, or brought together by artifice, exchange glances, reciprocate civilities, go home, and dream of one another. Having little to divert attention, or diversify thought, they find themselves uneasy when they are apart, and therefore conclude that they shall be happy together. They marry, and discover what nothing but voluntary blindness had before concealed; they wear out life in altercations, and charge nature with cruelty. ~ Samuel Johnson

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. ~ Josh Billings

Come, let’s be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with. ~ Charles Dickens

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~ Simone Signoret


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