Get Shopping

Sunday, November 27, 2011 – Get Shopping

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. ~ Dave Barry

The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts. ~ Peter Dickinson

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping. ~ Bo Derek

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking. ~ Elayne Boosler

If men liked shopping, they’d call it research. ~ Cynthia Nelms

A consumer is a shopper who is sore about something. ~ Harold Coffin

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “Extra medium.” ~ Steven Wright

Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like. ~ Adrienne Gusoff

But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith’s. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. ~ Oscar Wilde

All those people whose faces decorate the shopping bags of Barnes and Noble, with a few exceptions, would never get published today. ~ Mark Crispin Miller

Buying books would be a good thing if one could also buy the time to read them in. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? ~ Richard M. Nixon

Star Trek characters never go shopping. ~ Doug Coupland

We’re rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping. ~ Doug Coupland

The few remaining truths are graffiti, suicide notes, shopping lists. ~ Francesca da Rimini

Win or lose, we go shopping after the election. ~ Imelda Marcos

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. ~ Henny Youngman

Wal-Mart… Do they like make walls there? ~ Paris Hilton

Buying is a profound pleasure. ~ Simone de Beauvoir

I’m shopping around for something to do that no one will like. ~ Jerry Garcia

“Out upon merry Christmas! What’s Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer…? If I could work my will,” said Scrooge indignantly, “every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ upon his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!” – Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home. ~ Carol Nelson

Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words. ~ Harlan Miller

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying then without money? ~ Ogden Nash


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