Sorry About That

Sunday, October 9, 2016 – Sorry About That

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. ~ Lois Wyse

A stiff apology is a second insult… The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. ~ G. K. Chesterton

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be. ~ Steve Martin

Apology is only egotism wrong side out. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

The minute a phrase, becomes current, it becomes an apology for not thinking accurately to the end of the sentence. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Friends are God’s apology for relations. ~ Hugh Kingsmill

If God doesn’t destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. ~ Jay Leno

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm. ~ Dan Heist

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. ~ Kimberly Johnson

True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. ~ Isaac Friedmann

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ~ William Blake

True friends stab you in the front. ~ Oscar Wilde

You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched. ~ Edgar Watson Howe

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. ~ P. G. Wodehouse

No real English gentleman, in his secret soul, was ever sorry for the death of a political economist. ~ Walter Bagehot

My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know. ~ Joan Rivers

If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize. ~ Muhammad Ali

If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it’s clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again. ~ Bill O’Reilly

I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a deserter. What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants. ~ Michael Moore

I apologize for lying to you. I promise I won’t deceive you except in matters of this sort. ~ Spiro T. Agnew

Why must conversions always come so late? Why do people always apologize to corpses? ~ David Brin

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past. ~ Tryon Edwards

I can wholeheartedly apologize for not being at all sorry. And it really is the least I can do. ~ April Winchell

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.” ~ Emo Philips

I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means – except by getting off his back. ~ Leo Tolstoy

I was very sorry when I found out that your intentions were good and not what I supposed they were. ~ Sitting Bull

Very sorry can’t come. Lie follows by post. ~ Lord Charles Beresford

Carry the battle to them. Don’t let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don’t ever apologize for anything. ~ Harry S. Truman

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. ~ Ambrose Bierce

If the world would apologize, I might consider a reconciliation. ~ Mason Cooley

I can wholeheartedly apologize for not being at all sorry. And it really is the least I can do. ~ April Winchell

I don’t apologize to people with an agenda. ~ Kinky Friedman

I write better in Cape Breton… too many people around in Ontario. Down there I meet all sorts of non-human people, but they don’t bother me, and I don’t feel I have to apologize on behalf of my species quite so often. ~ Farley Mowat

Maturity is the ability to reap without apology and not complain when things don’t go well. ~ Jim Rohn

Our systems, perhaps, are nothing more than an unconscious apology for our faults, a gigantic scaffolding whose object is to hide from us our favorite sin. ~ Henri Frederic Amiel

Don’t say you’re sorry. Ask me how much it cost. ~ Stuart Connelly

In my dream, people apologized for things that were about to happen, and lit candles by inhaling. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don’t mean it. ~ Jim Bouton, Ball Four

Chocolate says “I’m sorry” so much better than words. ~ Rachel Vincent

I apologized for punching him. I thought he was attacking me with a karate chop disguised as a handshake. ~ Jarod Kintz

Everybody was sorry. Sorry was easy. Sorry was for suckers. ~ Gretchen McNeil, Possess

When I’m lonely I stand in the corner and play my saxophone and feel sorry for myself. I would ask you to accompany me on the piano, but if I did that I wouldn’t be lonely, would I? And what’s the point of a saxophone if not to celebrate despair? ~ Jarod Kintz

If the crow has to be shoved down your throat, maybe you should just let it fly. ~ Colette Ruland Parrino

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm. ~ Dan Heist

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. ~ D. H. Lawrence

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. ~ Henny Youngman

I’m sorry. If if you were right, I’d agree with you. ~ Robin Williams

Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it. ~ Douglas Horton

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’ ~ Demetri Martin

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. ~ Mark Twain

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