The Way Things Should Be

Sunday, May 30, 2010 – The Way Things Should Be

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through… There needs to be a monster truck option. ~ Jeph Jacques

It is a curious thing… that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste. ~ Evelyn Waugh

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. ~ George Orwell

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. ~ Matt Groening

There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy baby hanging from the breast. ~ Charles Baudelaire

The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

All that we call ideal in Greek or any other art, because to us it is false and visionary, was, to the makers of it, true and existent. ~ John Ruskin

Painting is the representation of visible forms. The essence of realism is its negation of the ideal. ~ Gustave Courbet

Creation destroys as it goes, throws down one tree for the rise of another. But ideal mankind would abolish death, multiply itself million upon million, rear up city upon city, save every parasite alive, until the accumulation of mere existence is swollen to a horror. ~ D. H. Lawrence

Junk is the ideal product… the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy. ~ William S. Burroughs

An Enlightened Master is ideal only if your goal is to become a Benighted Slave. ~ Robert Anton Wilson

An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination. ~ Voltaire

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband. ~ Booth Tarkington

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren’t. ~ Sacha Guitry

Becoming the new feminine ideal requires just the right combination of insecurity, exercise, bulimia and surgery. ~ G. B. Trudeau

No fashion has ever been created expressly for the lean purse or for the fat woman: the dressmaker’s ideal is the thin millionaires. ~ Katherine Fullerton Gerould

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found. ~ Joan Rivers

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. ~ Robert Benchley

Even imperfection itself may have its ideal or perfect state. ~ Thomas de Quincey

For many, immaturity is an ideal, not a defect. ~ Mason Cooley

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. ~ Mark Twain

It might be said that it is the ideal of the employer to have production without employees and the ideal of the employee is to have income without work. ~ E. F. Schumacher

My ideal is to wake up in the morning and run around the meadow naked. ~ Daryl Hannah

My ideal relaxation is working on upholstery. I spend hours in junk shops buying furniture. I do all the upholstery work myself, and it’s like therapy. ~ Pamela Anderson

Our life dreams the Utopia. Our death achieves the Ideal. ~ Victor Hugo

Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem. ~John Galsworthy

The ideal of a pure phenomenology will be perfected only by answering this question; pure phenomenology is to be separated sharply from psychology at large and, specifically, from the descriptive psychology of the phenomena of consciousness. ~ Edmund Husserl

The lonely wanderer, who watches by the seashore the waves that roll between him and his home, talks of cruel facts, material barriers that, just because they are material, and not ideal, shall be the irresistible foes of his longing heart. ~ Josiah Royce

The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat. ~ Jules Renard

Some people never have anything except ideals. ~ E. W. Howe

The road to perdition has ever been accompanied by lip service to an ideal. ~ Albert Einstein

Our ideals, like the gods of old, are constantly demanding human sacrifices. ~ George Bernard Shaw

When a man forgets his ideals he may hope for happiness, but not till then. ~ John Oliver Hobbes

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. ~ H. L. Mencken

To be an ideal guest, stay at home. ~ Edgar Watson Howe

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. ~ Carl Jung

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. ~ Germaine Greer

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive. ~ William F. Buckley, Jr.

A map of the world that does not include Utopia is not worth even glancing at, for it leaves out the one country at which Humanity is always landing. ~ Oscar Wilde

A man gazing on the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road. ~ Alexander Smith

Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power. ~ Bertrand Russell

Many have dreamed up republics and principalities that have never in truth been known to exist; the gulf between how one should live and how one does live is so wide that a man who neglects what is actually done for what should be done learns the way to self-destruction rather than self-preservation. ~ Niccolo Machiavelli

Don’t use that foreign word ”ideals.” We have that excellent native word ”lies.” ~ Henrik Ibsen

The attainment of an ideal is often the beginning of a disillusion. ~ Stanley Baldwin

We know the ideal isn’t where the action is. ~ Joseph Epstein

The actual well seen is ideal. ~ Thomas Carlyle