Going Shopping

Sunday, December 20, 2009 – Going Shopping

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. ~ Dave Barry

I take Him shopping with me. I say, OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain. ~ Tammy Faye Bakker

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking. ~ Elayne Boosler

If men liked shopping, they’d call it research. ~ Cynthia Nelms

A consumer is a shopper who is sore about something. ~ Harold Coffin

Shopping is a woman thing. It’s a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase. ~ Erma Bombeck

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. ~ Marcelene Cox

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping. ~ Bo Derek

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. ~ Henny Youngman

We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls. ~ Bill Bryson

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist. ~ Franklin P. Jones

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “Extra medium.” ~ Steven Wright

Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like. ~ Adrienne Gusoff

But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith’s. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. ~ Oscar Wilde

Tonight the city is full of morgues, and all the toilets are overflowing. There’s shopping malls coming out of the walls, as we walk out among the manure. That’s why I pay no mind. ~ Beck Hansen

Americans are fascinated by their own love of shopping. This does not make them unique. It’s just that they have more to buy than most other people on the planet. And it’s also an affirmation of faith in their country. ~ Simon Hoggart

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? ~ Richard M. Nixon

We’re rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping. ~ Doug Coupland

Wal-Mart… do they like make walls there? ~ Paris Hilton

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. ~ Jackie Mason

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. ~ Spike Milligan

The car, the furniture, the wife, the children – everything has to be disposable. Because you see the main thing today is – shopping. ~ Arthur Miller

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~ Kin Hubbard

A woman’s mind is affected by the meanest gifts. [Parvis mobilis rebus animus muliebris.] ~ Titus Livy, Annales (VI, 34)

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying then without money? ~ Ogden Nash

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