Sunday, May 9, 2010 – For Mothers Day
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~ Tenneva Jordan
A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~ Peter De Vries
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~ Ambrose Bierce
Women’s Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It’s the men who are discriminated against. They can’t bear children. And no one’s likely to do anything about that. ~ Golda Meir
Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort. ~ John Lancaster Spalding
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~ Honoré de Balzac
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his. ~ Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895
He is a poor son whose sonship does not make him desire to serve all men’s mothers. ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers. ~ Ogden Nash
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~ Milton Berle
Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that suppose to mean? In my heart it don’t mean a thing. ~ Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987
The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent. ~ Erich Fromm
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. ~ Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother’s Day are the good ones. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
The precursor of the mirror is the mother’s face. ~ D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, 1971
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. ~ Phyllis Diller
Mothers are all slightly insane. ~ J. D. Salinger
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~ Edward W. Howe
Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children. ~ Marilyn Penland
The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all. ~ Benjamin Spock
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes. ~ George Carlin
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ~ Calvin Trillin
My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. ~ Buddy Hackett
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. ~ Cathy Guisewite
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass!” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys” ~ Harmon Killebrew quotes
My mother, Southern to the bone, once told me, “All Southern literature can be summed up in these words: ‘On the night the hogs ate Willie, Mama died when she heard what Daddy did to sister.” ~ Pat Conroy
Mothers are the necessity of invention. ~ Bill Watterson
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one. ~ Groucho Marx
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~ Red Buttons
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. ~ Mark Twain
Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother. ~ William Somerset Maugham
We say that a girl with her doll anticipates the mother. It is more true, perhaps, that most mothers are still but children with playthings. ~ F. H. Bradley
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process. ~ John F. Kennedy
They say geniuses mostly have great mothers. They mostly have sad fates. ~ D. H. Lawrence
You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back. ~ William D. Tammeus
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born. ~ Elayne Boosler
Women who miscalculate are called mothers. ~ Abigail Van Buren
Just Above Sunset 