Regarding the South

Sunday, August 23, 2009 – Regarding the South

My God. We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins. ~ Robin Williams

The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody sober enough to stagger to the polls will. ~ Will Rogers

Next to fried foods, the South has suffered most from oratory. ~ Brooks Hays

Storytelling and copulation are the two chief forms of amusement in the South. They’re inexpensive and easy to procure. ~ Robert Penn Warren

In the South the war is what AD is elsewhere; they date from it. ~ Mark Twain

The south produced statesmen and soldiers, planters and doctors and lawyers and poets, but certainly no engineers and mechanics. Let Yankees adopt such low callings. ~ Margaret Mitchell

The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous. ~ Shana Alexander

It’s the South that maintains the idea that they’re different, which is interesting because nobody else really cares. ~ Josh Lucas

Segregation in the South is honest, open and aboveboard. Of the two systems, or styles of segregation, the Northern and the Southern, there is no doubt whatever in my mind which is the better. ~ Strom Thurmond

The white people of the South are the greatest minority in this nation. They deserve consideration and understanding instead of the persecution of twisted propaganda. ~ Strom Thurmond

Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him. ~ Paul Eldridge

We have only one rule here – to act like a gentleman at all times. ~ Robert E. Lee

People are, if anything, more touchy about being thought silly than they are about being thought unjust. ~ E. B. White

No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately. ~ Michel de Montaigne

Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art. ~ Charles McCabe

If one sticks too rigidly to one’s principles, one would hardly see anybody. ~ Agatha Christie

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. ~ Henry Adams

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. ~ Oscar Wilde

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. ~ Brendan Gill

An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it. ~ Jef Mallett

Unrelated, but amusing

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. ~ Evan Davis

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. ~ Emo Phillips

Everybody hates me because I’m so universally liked. ~ Peter de Vries

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. ~ Charles M. Schulz

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~ Jay Leno

I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn’t interest me. ~ Chris Rapier

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. ~ Steven Wright

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. ~ Emo Phillips

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through… There needs to be a monster truck option. ~ Jeph Jacques

Spare no expense to save money on this one. ~ Samuel Goldwyn