To Your Health

Sunday, August 16, 2009 – To Your Health

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. ~ Mark Twain

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~ Doug Larson

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! ~ Tommy Smothers

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. ~ Redd Foxx

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. ~ Johnny Carson

Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation, which are as necessary as reading. I will rather say more necessary because health is worth more than learning. ~ Thomas Jefferson

Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don’t need it: if you are sick you should not take it. ~ Henry Ford

Health is the first muse, and sleep is the condition to produce it. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

To keep the body in good health is a duty, for otherwise we shall not be able to trim the lamp of wisdom, and keep our mind strong and clear. Water surrounds the lotus flower, but does not wet its petals. ~ Buddha

Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy. ~ Lao Tzu

How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It’s simple. I drink the blood of young runaways. ~ William Shatner

In the future we’ll all have fifteen minutes of fame and fifteen minutes of healthcare. ~ Nicole Hollander

The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind. ~ G. K. Chesterton

I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work till one is better. ~ Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh, 1903

As a people, we have become obsessed with Health. There is something fundamentally, radically unhealthy about all this. We do not seem to be seeking more exuberance in living as much as staving off failure, putting off dying. We have lost all confidence in the human body. ~ Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail, 1979

Like everybody else, when I don’t know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds. ~ George Jean Nathan

Men that look no further than their outsides, think health an appurtenance unto life, and quarrel with their constitutions for being sick; but I that have examined the parts of man, and know upon what tender filaments that fabric hangs, do wonder that we are not always so; and considering the thousand doors that lead to death, do thank my God that we can die but once. ~ Thomas Browne

If man thinks about his physical or moral state he usually discovers that he is ill. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

In the face of such overwhelming statistical possibilities hypochondria has always seems to me to be the only rational position to take on life. ~John Diamond

Healthy people are invalids who don’t know it. ~ Jules Romains

Every man’s disease is his personal property. ~ Alonzo Clark

People who don’t know how to keep themselves healthy ought to have the decency to get themselves buried, and not waste time about it. ~ Henrik Ibsen

Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches. ~ V. L. Allineare

I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life’s sensational pleasures. ~ Robert Benchley

When a man is ill his very goodness is sickly. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

My inner advisor is dying to heal me. ~ Astrid Alauda

Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place. ~ Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor, 1977

Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them. ~ Martin H. Fischer

If you do everything you should do, and do not do anything you should not do, you will, according to the best available statistics, live exactly eighteen hours longer than you would otherwise. ~ Logain Clendening

It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like. ~ Jackie Mason

Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors. ~ Quentin Crisp

Those obsessed with health are not healthy; the first requisite of good health is a certain calculated carelessness about oneself. ~ Sydney J. Harris

A healthy old fellow, who is not a fool, is the happiest creature living. ~ Gerald Brenan

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