Sunday, May 12, 2019 – Mothers

Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~ Honoré de Balzac

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, if I belittle dogs and mothers. ~ Ogden Nash

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone

The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent. ~ Erich Fromm

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. ~ Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. ~ Robert Frost

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~ Ambrose Bierce

My mother was right: When you’ve got nothing left, all you can do is get into silk underwear and start reading Proust. ~ Jane Birkin

Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that supposed to mean? In my heart it don’t mean a thing. ~ Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987

The precursor of the mirror is the mother’s face. ~ D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, 1971

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. ~ Phyllis Diller

Mothers are all slightly insane. ~ J. D. Salinger

Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children. ~ Marilyn Penland

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~ Tenneva Jordan

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~ Edward W. Howe

A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~ Peter De Vries

Mothers are the necessity of invention. ~ Bill Watterson

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one. ~ Groucho Marx

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~ Red Buttons

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. ~ Mark Twain

Few misfortunes can befall a boy, which bring worse consequences, than to have a really affectionate mother. ~ William Somerset Maugham

We say that a girl with her doll anticipates the mother. It is more true, perhaps, that most mothers are still but children with playthings. ~ F. H. Bradley

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his. ~ Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process. ~ John F. Kennedy

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~ Abraham Lincoln

I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli. ~ George H. W. Bush

My mother said to me, “If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.” Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso. ~ Pablo Picasso

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes. ~ George Carlin

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ~ Calvin Trillin

My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. ~ Buddy Hackett

My mother, Southern to the bone, once told me, “All Southern literature can be summed up in these words: ‘On the night the hogs ate Willie, Mama died when she heard what Daddy did to sister.'” ~ Pat Conroy

Food, love, career, and mothers – the four major guilt groups. ~ Cathy Guisewite

Women’s Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It’s the men who are discriminated against. They can’t bear children. And no one’s likely to do anything about that. ~ Golda Meir

He is a poor son whose sonship does not make him desire to serve all men’s mothers. ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~ Milton Berle

They say geniuses mostly have great mothers. They mostly have sad fates. ~ D. H. Lawrence

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born. ~ Elayne Boosler

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~ Rudyard Kipling

Women who miscalculate are called mothers. ~ Abigail Van Buren

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother’s Day are the good ones. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back. ~ William D. Tammeus

Our mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met. ~ Marguerite Duras