The Roots of Scandal

Sunday, June 12, 2011 – The Roots of Scandal

Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ~ Robert Byrne

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. ~ Groucho Marx

Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast. ~ Woody Allen

Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~ Quentin Crisp

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. ~ Butch Hancock

The reproduction of mankind is a great marvel and mystery. Had God consulted me in the matter, I should have advised him to continue the generation of the species by fashioning them out of clay. ~ Martin Luther

Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill. ~ H. L. Mencken

The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul. ~ William B. Yeats

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t! ~ George Bernard Shaw

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. ~ John Waters

Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it. ~ Lewis Grizzard

An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex. ~ Aldous Huxley

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less. ~ Brendan Francis

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Conservatives say teaching sex education in the public schools will promote promiscuity. With our education system? If we promote promiscuity the same way we promote math or science, they’ve got nothing to worry about. ~ Beverly Mickins

Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. ~ Fran Lebowitz

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. ~ Casey Stengel

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ~ Rita Rudner

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex. ~ Barbara Cartland

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female. ~ Cyril Connolly

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~ Matt Groening

I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt. ~ Groucho Marx

Literature – creative literature – unconcerned with sex, is inconceivable. ~ Gertrude Stein

Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did. ~ James Baldwin

Sex is on the minds of most people, especially those who shouldn’t be having it. ~ William Glasser

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. ~ David Bowie

Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age. ~ Gore Vidal

What’s the difference between sex and love? I have four wives and five kids. I apparently don’t know the difference. ~ James Caan

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

Sexuality is the lyricism of the masses. ~ Charles Baudelaire

In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact. ~ Marlene Dietrich

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