Football

Sunday, January 8, 2012 – Football

People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society. ~ Vince Lombardi

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall. ~ Vince Lombardi

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I am delighted to have you play football. I believe in rough, manly sports. But I do not believe in them if they degenerate into the sole end of any one’s existence. I don’t want you to sacrifice standing well in your studies to any over-athleticism; and I need not tell you that character counts for a great deal more than either intellect or body in winning success in life. Athletic proficiency is a mighty good servant, and like so many other good servants, a mighty bad master. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. ~ Elbert Hubbard

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important. ~ Eugene McCarthy

If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally dead. ~ Erma Bombeck

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. ~ Frank Zappa

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. ~ Phyllis Diller

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. ~ Dave Barry

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. ~ George Will

Often there are players who have only football as a way of expressing themselves and never develop other interests. And when they no longer play football, they no longer do anything; they no longer exist, or rather they have the sensation of no longer existing. ~ Eric Cantona

Football is like life and I know life. ~ Rush Limbaugh

I don’t understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. ~ Sting

Football is a fertility festival. Eleven sperm trying to get into the egg. I feel sorry for the goalkeeper.~ Björk

Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that. ~ Bill Shankly

Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football. ~ John Heisman

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately – unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something. ~ Dick Butkus

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. ~ Joe Theismann

In football, time and space are the same thing. ~ Graham Taylor

I don’t know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf. ~ JOE NAMATH

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. ~ Jimmy Breslin

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. ~ John Leonard

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? ~ Jim Bouton

When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. ~ George Raveling

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye. ~ Roger Kahn

You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four. ~ Dan Birdwell

If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn’t the same as the one I was wearing, I’d run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother. ~ Bo Jackson

Football is easy if you’re crazy as hell. ~ Bo Jackson

Baseball is fathers and sons. Football is brothers beating each other up in the backyard. ~ Donald Hall

Baseball is what we were, and football is what we have become. ~ Mary McGrory

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it. ~ Heywood Hale Brown

Watching football is like watching pornography. There’s plenty of action, and I can’t take my eyes off it, but when it’s over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it. ~ Luke Salisbury

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